Joe Hughes (jhughes) wrote,
Joe Hughes

All my entries in one paragraph

Here is all of my entries in one paragraph:

Wow this is my first entry here's my life story whether you want to hear it or not damn Hebrew is hard My roommate left for the army the war with the cockroaches was long and traumatic the Judeo-Nazis tried recruiting me Tamir got a stone thrown at his head and we had to go to the emergency room where they glued his head back together and then Neil called certain people in the Ben-Gurion group "bitches" my lunatic Mda instructor threatened to kill Jesus again then the first horseman of the apocalypse, whoops I mean Arnold, got elected as governor of California, I sucked at poetry before praying in a synogogue for 12 straight hours with two four minute breaks after which I wrote an entry declaring I had no time to write an entry then a cranky cab driver allowed us to flee from a horrible beach party by driving to another city after which an insane New Zealander threatened to blow up a building with an RPG after I downed almost an entire glass of vodka in practically one gulp assuming it was water while conversing with a Rabbi until we slept on a rooftop in the old city of Jerusalem through the sounds of singing and the shining dome of the rock in the background after which I realized there's a shitload of Davids in Israel so I crowd-surfed on Rabbis and Yeshiva students to techoized-klezmer music and I ranted about the diversity of the old city then an Italian in green shook his head madly at me until I decided to cover the entire history of violence and war in the land of Israel but I went to Egypt and climbed a mountain that Bedouins claim to be Mount Sinai and slept up there then I bitched about getting Spanish words and Hebrew words mixed up thus creating Ladino so I went into a rant about Israel's diversity and my lunatic Mda instructor mowed us all down with a supersoaker then one of the most incredible things that ever happened to me occured and I slept in a Bedouin tent in the Judean desert overnight until I posted pictures of my adventures on the entry after that and expressed my concern over the division of religious and secular in Israel the first day of classes started today for Israeli students and there was a giant strike going on as students partied around the school it didn't bother me much so I went to Safed where the sun set over the infinite number of empty mountains the UN are bastards I crawled into caves that were once inhabited by the leaders of the Jewish revolt thousands of years ago why does my roommate torture me by blasting Disney music and Free_kunta left a really weird comment Kill Bill is really really violent I had an unrelated nightmare then I toured the ancient cities of Be'er Sheva and Arad then I got really personal after which I walked in the desert and went to Eilat Gary puked the entire way from Jerusalem to Be'er Sheva so I went to Tel Aviv it rained in Be'er Sheva and Israelis panicked until I began my fifth fast and was Muslim for a day not by choice love sucks ass I couldn't go to Jerusalem because I was sick and that sucked I bought ice cream and that sucked too the Hebrew Hammer looks like a good movie so I fasted for the sixth time my roommates are overall cool until a nurse jabbed a needle in my arm and missed the vein so she dug deeper Sadaam was captured and I visited another ancient site after which I was welcomed into a stranger's home for a Shabbat meal Happy Chanuka don't trust cab drivers in Israel I said goodbye to people and went to Minnesota and froze for two months but while there my pal Roy was in an MC competition kind of like in 8 Mile life is weird Minnesota is cold and I'm back in Be'er Sheva.
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