Joe Hughes (jhughes) wrote,
Joe Hughes

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"The Passion" is bullshit. "The Passion" is bullshit. "The Passion" is bullshit.

If I were a movie critic, this is what I would write:

I finally saw "the Passion the other day. This movie was so shitty I don't know where to begin. I'm glad I didn't actually pay to see this film because if I did I would've demanded my money back plus eight bucks for wasting my time. Instead I saw a friend's illegal copy of it in Jerusalem.

I didn't automatically assume when it first came out that it was going to be anti-semetic. A lot of Jews immediately assumed it would be racist because of Jewish leaders condemning it and because Gibson's father is an anti-semete and a Holocaust denier, and is part of a fucked-up cult that rejects all the popes who took away the blame from the Jews for Jesus's death. So I went to see it thinking it in fact wasn't going to be anti-semetic, but I was totally wrong.

ist off, this movie was based on European plays during medieval times that focused only on Jesus's death rather than his teachings and put blame squarely on the Jews for his death. That's problem #1. But that's only scratching the surface.

The movie continuously makes the Romans look sympathetic to Jesus, and Pontius Pilate tries doing everything he can to prevent Jesus from getting crucified, never mind that he ordered the crucifixion! However, despite Pilate's best efforts, he's afraid the Jews will kill everybody if he doesn't give the order. Because in this fantasy, the Jews have more power then the ROMAN ARMY and if the Romans don't do what the Jews say, watch out. Gibson you jackass. As if all those Jews would focus on this one guy who claims to be the messiah when this was a time when dozens of people were claiming to be one. Thousands of Jews were being crucified at this time for simple bullshit like stealing bread, and this is what the Jews focus on, this one of many guys who claims to be the messiah. Pilate is practically on the verge of tears as the Jews scream and almost drool with anger, all thirsting for blood.

But Yossi, you say, this film is not anti-semetic. It's only following the bible as it was written. I will answer this with one word: BULLSHIT! I've read the bible, (I live in a Christian country, remember?,) and I know that Hitler, (and when I say Hitler I mean Mel,) used a little "artistic license" in filling in the blanks of the story. The whole "Jews lurching out and hissing at Jesus as he's lead to the crucifixion site" thing is never mentioned, nor is the whole "Pontius Pilate crying to his girlfriend about having to kill Jesus and if he doesn't the Jews will kill everybody," thing. What Goebbels did in his movie was take away blame from the Romans and shift it to the Jews by emphasizing on some things and focusing away from others. I mean, what the hell? It'll show Pilate crying one minute, then it shows the Jews, all with murderous expressions on their faces, with THE DEVIL WALKING AMONG THEM! WTF?!! I also didn't like the fact that all of the Jews screaming for his death wear kipote, (yarmulkes,) whereas Jesus himself and his followers wear nothing on their heads, as if they're not Jews also.

"But Yossi," you say. "I'm an anti-semite. Why shouldn't I see this movie?" I'll tell you why you shouldn't. It's not just the anti-semitism, this movie just plain sucks in general. Quickly I found out that Jesus wouldn't be the only one to suffer intense pain and agony. It's three hours of Jesus getting the crap kicked out of him and then getting crucified! Gibson is a psychopath. Not only that, the acting is some of the worst I've ever seen.

But what I think pisses me off the most about this movie, (And I promise my ranting is almost over,) is that Mel "the Jews killed Jesus" Gibson has claimed over and over again that this movie is totally realistic. That's why he totally Hollywoodized the story of Jesus and put everything in slow motion with gushing blood pouring out everyhwere every 3 seconds? Not to mention the fact that his movie is in Aramaic and Latin, and the Romans didn't even speak Latin back then Mel you $&*%!!. In the beginning, Gibson didn't want any subtitles at all in the film. People called him mad, (which he is,) to which he arrogantly replied, (as any madman would,) "..Or maybe I'm a genius." I'm not even going to split hairs, I'll stick to the basics.

When it comes right down to it, I loved this movie. And by loved I mean this is the shittiest movie I've ever seen in my life and I want it to get burned along with "Triumph of the will," and I want Braveheart to flee to Argentina and get lost there. I would rather Gargle buckets of dog puke than have to see this movie again.

My advice: See Martin Scorsese’s “the Last Temptation of Christ” instead, that movie is awesome, even if this lady disagrees with me:
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